Bigfoot in Spokane

People are talking about the latest Bigfoot sighting in Spokane. It’s all over the Internet.

Or maybe I just look at similar sites.

Either way, this Bigfoot fellow really doesn’t know what he’s getting into. Let’s look back and see the other mythological creatures ruined by Spokane media exposure.

The Dodo bird – Mistakenly reported by the newspaper as the “Chicken with a funky beak,” this staple of Spokane made its way from the fields to the dinner plate.

The Giant Bean Stalk – Marketed by Farmer Jack in the early 1910s, Spokanites were amazed at the one-foot height that this plant was able to achieve. The plant was a popular one and nearly all were growing the rather tall plant by the end of the decade. The plant wasn’t really ruined by exposure, but people just didn’t care about its size anymore.

The Garbage-Eating Goat – Everyone knows The Goat out in Riverfront Park. Sure, it’s cute, but it’s also a historical monument to the real thing. Home to odd creatures, Spokane spontaneously spawned this street sweeper. Unfortunately, local media promoted the free service it provided. Children forced it to eat Ma Hendrick’s leftover pea casserole, and the animal died a few minutes later.

Good Movies – It’s hardly a secret that most movies shot in Spokane aren’t blockbusters. Of course, it wouldn’t hurt to find a star with actual box office draw, instead of Cuba Gooding Jr.

The Redneck – Many claim to be redneck, or are mocked for being one. The last true redneck died out in 1979, when she decided to sport wool socks with open-toed sandals while mowing the lawn. A memorial service hosted by The Dueling Banjo Brothers still stands out in one’s memory.

So, Mr. Bigfoot, do watch your step. Spokane is rough for those of great mythological stature, and we can’t afford to lose you.

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