Why Batman is NOT a superhero

Let’s face it – he just isn’t.

Striking fear into the heart of any '60s criminal.

A superhero, has a power of some sort. Whether it be x-ray vision, super speed or the ability to fly, having a “super” power is all but required to be a superhero. Otherwise, you’re just a hero.

This is why Frank, the guy who hangs out near the trash cans at the grocery store, will never be a superhero.

Wearing a stylish suit and being accompanied by his sidekick Robin, this Batman character seems more like a creepy version of James Bond, if you ask me.

Spiderman managed to be clumsy enough and have a spider bite him. From there, he created his own tools and gadgets. That’s pretty cool, because he can always rely on his mutated body to cling to a wall. Instead, Batman is limited in the number of tools he has. If he runs out of bat-shaped ninja stars, he’s out of luck. Even if Sherlock Holmes had a blackbelt in karate, he wouldn’t be considered a superhero.

Furthermore, Spiderman doesn’t need a sidekick to help him along. Batman needs two. That’s pretty bad.

And, of course, let us not forget the last time that someone tried to be a superhero with just fancy gadgets… remember Syndrome from “The Incredibles” anyone? Yeah, those gadgets and toys didn’t turn out so well.

Plus, he was a ginger. Gingers aren’t superheroes.

That being said, while Batman may not be a superhero, he is one extreme badass. And for that, he will always have my respect.


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